Thursday, June 30, 2011

My Apologies

I have a few things I want to apologize for on here . . . .

the first is the lack of posts aside from my weekly updates . . .

honestly ever since I got my BFP I have been at a loss of what to say on here.  The hardest post I ever had to write was the one saying that I was pregnant.  I wrote it three times and still wasn't satisfied.  I feel enormous amounts of guilt when it comes to that.  We were IFers that got pregnant but were fortunate enough to do so without ART or previous losses.  Though IF is hard on everyone, I feel like I got out so easy compared to so many others.

I just don't know what to say.  I am terrified to offend those bloggers I care so much about, so I just don't put anything on here.  Even when I wasn't pregnant I wasn't very good about posting non IF stuff, I'm not super creative or funny, so I just stuck with keeping this blog to a strict IF content.  Now all I can do is update pregnancy stuff, which no one really needs to hear about more than once a week.

So please forgive me, I am going to try to expand my content a bit more.  Most of my favorite blogs are ones that have IFers share other things about themselves, so I am going to work on that. 

the next thing I want to kind of apologize for is that I am very honest in my weekly pregnancy posts . . . .

Many of you who have SAIF, put in their updates "I will not complain" or :Nothing is bad, I love every minute of pregnancy I wouldn't trade it".  Which is great and to each his own, but I personally am going to put it out there.  Every morning sickness, swelling, lack of sleep.  I am not doing this in a complainy way (well not most of the time), I am doing it, because I don't scrapbook or journal . . . this is my place to document our journey. 

I 100% believe that this pregnancy is a blessing, and a gift.  I am beyond grateful and happy, however, I also think marriage is a gift and let's be honest I have said a bad thing or two about my husband over the last 4 years.  So please do not take my notes as being ungrateful or snide now that I am lucky enough to be pregnant.  I wouldn't trade vomiting for 23 weeks straight for not getting my take home baby. . . EVER, but I still want to document it for myself.

Thanks to those who have stuck around and I hope I articulated myself correctly on here.

I am thinking of watch of you and can't wait to see how each of your journey's end!


  1. Well, I certainly can understand. I held off posting about my pregnancy for SO long because I felt so guilty - especially because I also had Jackson! What did I do to deserve all that greatness?! But, I was so surprised at the love and support I received, and you will be too.

    And, honestly, there are things about pregnancy that just aren't fun. It is the way it is! I have never read your posts and thought you were complaining or not being grateful for your precious baby. You are just learning the ups and downs of being a mom, like every pregnant mom who has gone before you! There are things we LOVE and adore about our children and things we honestly could live without, lol! And that starts very early in pregnancy:).

    I guess what I am trying to say is: you don't need to apologize. This is YOUR blog, your journey, your experience. Document it the way you want. You are not being insensitive, you are being real and honest. And that is a gift!

  2. I felt the exactly the same way when I posted about being pregnant too...I know some people stopped commenting/following me because of that and it stung a bit although I totally understood why they did.

    I too have been trying to be careful about "complaining" about pregnancy symptoms and to not come across as being ungrateful to others still struggling.

    Blogging while pregnant is a difficult balance, I totally agree. We should come up with a theme or topic to discuss once a week on our blogs and then still do our weekly pregnancy update...Maybe that would help?

    I enjoy reading your updates and understand where you are coming from because I'm in the same place. :-)

  3. Please don't monitor your posts because of us who haven't got our BFP yet. We are happy for you and you give us all hope. Never feel badly about where you are because we will all be there too one day!

  4. I think everyone who has gotten a BFP after IF knows how you feel. I know I do. I'm often worried that I will offend someone but I also want to document everything I have been through. Just write what you feel, I'll be here reading :)

  5. Thanks so much ladies, you all are wonderful!!!

  6. I know how you feel. When I announced my BFP I was so unsure of how to proceed, but I have been infertile for a long time and want to feel the way that other women get to feel too.

    Don't feel bad about putting your feelings down on here no matter what they are. It's time for you to celebrate and someday soon, it will be my turn too.

    Glad to have joined your club. :)


  7. You have SO wonderfully articulated the exact feelings I've been feeling ever since the day I shared my baby news. I've considered changing blogs or even ending it completely, but I remember back to when I was waiting, waiting, waiting. I was encouraged to hear of others' success stories. Yes, I feel guilty for not posting about anything other than our baby, but like you, I'm just not that kind of funny and imaginative person. Just like those above me, I say "keep on posting"--I'll be here reading about every little thing your precious baby girl is up to. :-)

  8. No need to apologize! This is your place to put it all out there!!! I love hearing about the positive stuff - and the negative stuff. So keep up the honesty!!!