Thursday, April 7, 2011

It's my birthday

Let me start this by saying, I am not a huge birthday person, never have been.  But infertility definitely added to that.  Last year was the worst birthday I have ever had.

We had been trying for a year with no success, and not just that, only one person knew we were trying, so I also had very little support.  My husband, who is awesome, wasn't even all that there for me.  I think he didn't know what to do or say.  He also thought I was worrying too easily and too quickly.

So last year I cried a lot, removed my birthday from Facebook (since that is how everyone relies on remembering birthdays), and basically boycotted my birthday entirely.

I really don't care about getting older, that's not my issue, I don't like having high expectations of a day and then it not being everything I had hoped for.  And that is compounded by IF.  Birthdays were just one more anniversary of not having what you want most.

This year I have a much more positive outlook (I still don't really care for birthdays), but I am not crying or brooding.  I am grateful.  I am grateful that I am having a baby.  I am grateful that I feel the support of this struggle with the people I have now shared it with (friends and family) and nmost importantly you all.

This blog has been a godsend for me.  I have four brothers and no sisters.  My mom was MIA (emotionally) for a few years after my parents divorced (7th grade through 11th).  So I am not great with women in general and especially not sharing my feelings.  So it has been sooooo nice to have people I can feel comfortable with who I can share my true thoughts and feelings and be ok with being vulnerable around them.

So I want to thank all of you and say that this has been the best present over the last year and thank you for being a part of it!!!!!


  1. Happy birthday!! I hope you have a great day!

  2. HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope you have a great day!

  3. What a wonderful post! Happy Birthday!!! And I'm so happy to have you in my life too!

  4. Happy Birthday! And I'm so happy that this year your birthday wish has come true :)

  5. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! And what a wonderful gift you have this year :-) :-)