Wednesday, March 30, 2011

14 Weeks Picture

Sorry I didn't post last night, I got sick again!

Here is my 14 weeks shot, my stomach is starting to pouch out!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

14 Weeks

Now that I am feeling better overall, the time is flying by!
How Far Along? 14 weeks 1 day (baby is measuring 14 weeks 5 days)

Maternity Clothes? no, but my stomach has grown?  It has grown higher than where I know the baby is, so I am thinking that maybe my stomach muscles are just stretched a bit and now my stomach pouches out???  Since Sunday I have been wearing my beBand with my button undone and it has been fine!!! 

Weight Gain? I have gained just under two pounds this week.  I think it is because I am actually eating dinner about every other night and I have only gotten sick three times this week!!!  So overall I have gained about a pound and a half through this pregnancy.

Stretch Marks? None yet, I am going crazy with the lotion though!!
Sleep? Not good.  I have weird dreams and have to pee at least four times a night and I pretty much don't fall asleep after my 4:30 pee break.  I blame myself for that though, because that's when I start planning out things like the nursery and trying to figure out daycare (clearly things that can't wait until normal hours).
Best Moment of the Week? Starting to feel a little bump.  I can actually look in the mirror now and tell that I am pregnant!  Also, my alma mater going to the Final Four for the second year in a row . . . .go Butler!!!!
Weirdest Comment:  I went to a Bachelorette party on Saturday (I just went for the dinner part, no crazy bars for me) but when we were waiting for our table at the bar and I ordered a Diet Coke the bartender called me a pansy, the girl next to me, goes "she's pregnant".  You should have seen the look on his face!!!  I understand that he saw I was with a Bachelorette party and that's why he said it, but I bet he won't do that again!!!

Movement? No, but other than finding out the sex, that is what I am most excited about!!!!!
Food Cravings? Soda, Cereal and tuna fish sandwiches from subway (I only eat half of a 6 inch once a week)!!!

Gender? We will know in a few short weeks!!!

What I miss? Not much, other than sleep!  I do still sneak in naps every weekend though!!!
Symptoms: Morning sickness, sore boobs, dizziness, greasy skin (I have never had great skin, but now it is GREASY), exhaustion and lots of peeing.
What I'm looking forward to? Finding out the sex, getting a big bump, and feeling movement!
Weekly Wisdom: When your body tells you to relax, don't fight it.  I nap once a day on the weekends and I need it!!!!!
Milestones: 2nd Trimester!!!!!!!!!

Emotions: I am struggling with the new pouch, I am sooo happy it's there, but I just had a minor freak out that it went from nothing to decent size in one week.  Also, I am feeling bloated greasy and broken out.  So though I am thrilled about this pregnancy and will endure just about anything for these next few months, it is a struggle to not feel a little bad about yourself (especially with all of my crazy emotions going).
I will post tonight!!

Friday, March 25, 2011

We are growing

I am growing a baby and a hematoma!

Good news, the baby is still measuring 4 days ahead (which it always has).  And the baby was moving like crazy, so another good thing (especially with the hematoma).
Bad news, the hematoma is also growing.  In some dimensions, it has shrunk, in others it has grown.  The overall mass is slightly larger than two weeks ago.

So I will be back at the doctor's office in a little less than two weeks for my semi monthly ultrasound.  My doctor told me I am going to be spoiled and if I have another kid I will probably freak out from only getting two ultrasounds.  She would be right, but we are only having one!!!

So I asked a ton of questions, but overall she said it is not that big of a deal as long as
1. the baby is growing
2. the baby is moving
3. the fluid is measuring well

And all of them were. 

I am still on restrictions and can't do just about anything, but if it means that my baby will be healthy than so be it!!!  And I will take any excuse not to clean!!!!  (She specifically said no cleaning, too much bending and straining)!!!

Other stats,
no weight gain
good blood pressure 110/64

Here are a few pictures
(they are not as good, because it was a regular tummy ultrasound this time!

 The baby has gotten so long!
What a big head!

 It's amazing how defined the fingers are!
The legs are so long and skinny!

Overall, I am so happy with the visit!  I am hoping that maybe next time I won't be so nervous before the appointment.

Thanks for all of your comments and support!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Nervous about tomorrow

I have been nervous for a few days now, but it is really starting to be on my mind constantly today.

Tomorrow I am having another ultrasound to see what is going on with the hematoma. 

I have promised to not use Dr. Google, so this is all I know
1. I have a hematoma on my cervix.
2. It has actually grown, not shrunk between the time it popped to two weeks later.
3. If it does not go away, it can cause issues and not allow the baby to grow properly.

That is it.  I didn't ask questions the first time, because I was just so shocked I hadn't lost the baby.  Last time I didn't ask questions because I didn't want to stress.  I thought, I will just go with it. 

Oddly, pregnancy has made me less Type A.  Ray says it is because I am too tired and sick to care.  Probably true, but that doesn't mean he hasn't taken advantage of it by buying a million frozen pizzas and Cinnamon Toast Crunch (we try to eat a little healthier than that, especially at breakfast). 

Anyways, I am going to ask a million questions tomorrow.

I will be the obnoxious pregnant lady who says "what if" a hundred times.  I feel like after four weeks of being calm it is time to add a little crazy back in the mix.

Please keep me in your thoughts, and send shrinking thoughts to my hematoma!

Monday, March 21, 2011

13 Weeks

Wow, we are almost in the second trimester!!!!!!

Going forward, I am going to do this update every week!  Just to communicate and so I can remember our milestones!!!

How Far Along? 12 weeks 6 days (baby is measuring 13 weeks 3 days)

Maternity Clothes? no, I have been wearing my bigger jeans, but everything else fits fine!!!!  I did buy some though, in preparation of the next few weeks!

Weight Gain? I lost a few pounds in the beginning, but now I am just a few ounces below my pre pregnancy weight.  I think it has to do with still not consistently being hungry/being sick at night.

Stretch Marks? None yet. 
Sleep? Not good.  I have weird dreams and have to pee at least four times a night.
Best Moment of the Week? Starting to feel a little bump.  Until a few days ago, it was barely noticeable, now that it has moved up a bit Ray can tell there is a bump.

Movement? No, but other than finding out the sex, that is what I am most excited about!!!!!
Food Cravings? Soda.  It's weird, I didn't really drink much soda before, but now I crave it!  And cereal, I eat at least two boxes of cereal a week.  It is the only thing that sounds good for dinner and most nights, it is all I can stomach.

Gender? We will know in a few short weeks!!!

What I miss? Feeling normal.  I miss being able to make plans and not worry, will I be sick?  I have been a huge hermit this whole pregnancy, because my morning sickness is bad and it comes on quick.  It's worth it and I know others have it much worse, but I am just not a sick person, so this has been an adjustment for me!
Symptoms: Morning sickness, sore boobs, dizziness, constipation (I am just being honest), exhaustion and lots of peeing.
What I'm looking forward to? Finding out the sex, getting a bump, and feeling movement!
Weekly Wisdom: When your body tells you to relax, don't fight it.  I nap once a day on the weekends and I need it!!!!!
Milestones: 2nd Trimester!!!!!!!!!

Emotions: I am super excited to have gotten out of the danger zone (I know bad things can still happen, but the chances of that are much better).  I am worried about our ultrasound this week to see if my hematoma has gotten any smaller.  Our last u/s (two weeks ago) shown it had actually grown a little bit.  Last time I didn't want to freak out and jump to conclusions, but this time I am going to ask a million questions, so we know what the options are if this thing doesn't go away on its own.
You will notice my lovely pregnancy skin, my glow is not from pregnancy, it is from the extra grease I have generated on my face!!!!!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Starting to Believe

I recently created a second blog mostly for family and friends, who honestly I didn't feel comfortable with opening this blog up to them.  This was a post I have been thinking about for a long time and decided to put on our other blog.  I think it is important to share that it isn't easy for everyone to just get pregnant.  And I think of it as my duty to share my journey (or at least the basics of it) with people. 

Every time I tell someone that I am pregnant, I follow it up with, it was a struggle, but we got here.  If they ask more, I give them more detail, if not, I hope that me just saying that resides with them and maybe helps them to realize that there are many people that struggle with fertility.

The following post is probably something many of you all ready know, but since it is related to IF I thought I would share it on here too!

Go Butler Bulldogs!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As each week comes and goes, I feel like this pregnancy is more and more real. 

I struggle with believing it because of what it took to get here.

We tried to get pregnant for 18 cycles and were scheduled to go see an infertility specialist in February.  We had countless tests, doctor's appointments, and even an outpatient surgery before we got pregnant.  There were never any answers or reasons that could be found for our troubles getting pregnant.  It was really frustrating and often lonely.

Infertility is something most people don't know much about.  Celion Dion is the only story they know.  And their advice is either just relax or just adopt.  Though you understand it is coming from a good place, these are incredibly ignorant comments.  They also hurt, because these comments imply that your feelings don't matter . . . the just relax comment hurts because it implies you are doing something wrong, rather than that medically there may be a problem, you don't have control over.  And the just adopt comment hurts, because it is assuming that there will be no grief when accepting that you can't carry a baby and that your child won't biologically be yours.  I love adoption and what it has done for some of the people in my life, and had it come to that, I would have adopted (and still might), but people don't take some of the other things into account when saying just adopt.

After struggling and feeling lonely while going through IF (infertility) I found blogging.  I actually used to make fun of bloggers.  They all seemed so self righteous and in love with themselves, by assuming people wanted to know their thoughts on even the most mundane topics.  However, it became my outlet, my source of information, a place of support, and my place to say my true feelings.

I am saying all of this to say that while I have had it MUCH easier in IF than many of my blog friends, it still touches me.  I have been fortunate enough to never miscarry, but I still dread it everyday.  Every time I have a cramp and when I don't have nausea for a day.  I check the toilet paper every time I go to the bathroom to make sure there is no blood.   This is how I am still touched by IF. 

I do believe that if this pregnancy had come easily, I would not have these concerns, but I am no longer naive to the possible outcomes.

Though, as the weeks go on, I feel more and more at ease with this.  And I feel as though I can start to connect more with this baby.  Up until two days ago, I just couldn't connect.  I do this with many things, it is my defense mechanism.

So I can happily say that I am now at a place where I feel comfortable beginning to love my baby.  Now I am talking to it, and rubbing my little bump (not showing yet, but Ray and I can tell).

So excited to be heading into the second trimester and I can't wait for my little blessing to get here in September!!!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Sorry it took so long

Sorry this took so long to get to.  I don't get to see my mom often, so I try not to do other things while she is here!

On to the good stuff . . .

The 9:30 u/s went well, in terms of the baby is growing on pace (still 4 days ahead, but they haven't changed my due date).  The heart beat is still 162.  And it was moving like crazy.  I am so glad my mom got to see it!

Here are the pics
The bad news from the u/s sound is that the hematoma has grown.  So now I am on restrictions.  No exercise, no sex, no cleaning, and nothing strenuous.

I have to go back on the 25th to get another ultrasound to see if it has shrunk or grown?

So that make me pretty nervous, but there is nothing I can do, except not freak out.

The appt at 1:00 was with a new doctor (it's a huge practice and they rotate, so you will have met your doctor before L&D).  I really liked her.  She went over everything with me and answered my few questions. 

Other than the hematoma I am doing pretty good.  The morning sickness has decreased and that is the most amazing thing ever!  The exhaustion is still there, but she said it will go away around week 15, so I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Other than that here are a few highlights from the weekend . . . .
My step mom made our first baby blanket.  My Dad and her are soo excited they have all ready bought a stroller for when the baby is at their place. 
My Mom and I went shopping at Motherhood and Target and got a few cute things!  I felt like an outsider being in Motherhood, since I am still not that far along and not showing, but she really wanted to go, so we went. 

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend too!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Please Help

Please take a moment and sign the petition below.  This petition is to ask Ethiopia to reconsider slowing down their American adoptions.  There are two blog friends I have that this impacts tremendously.  Both of them have their referrals (are matched) and are just waiting to get through the court process and take their babies home.  As of now their babies are going to be in orphan inches in shared cribs for up to another full year.

Petition Link
I have no idea if this will help, but if there is a chance it will, I am confident it will be worth your time.

Please be thinking of and/or sending prayers to Team Myers and My Two Lines.  They are both in adoption limbo.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Busy Week

If all goes well at my appointment this Friday, we are going to begin to tell more people about our great news!  I am very excited about this, as it has been hard to keep something so exciting secret!

At that time, I will also start referring people to our new blog "The Kasun Family"  Not that I will stop posting here, because I won't, but I am saying all this so you can follow the new blog as well if you would like to.  The new blog will focus less on IF, and more on our family.  Not that IF isn't a part of it and not that it won't be addressed, but it will be more of a update/pictures type of thing.


Also, I am so excited because my mom and stepdad are coming into town on Thursday

I am taking Friday off and have two appointments that day!  9:30 is our ultrasound to check and make sure that the hemtoma is shrinking.  And at 1:00 we have my doctor check up and the heartbeat!  We had to get them spread out, because the ultrasound was scheduled weeks after the doctor visit, due to the surprise hematoma.

It works out though, because my Mom and I will go to the 9:30 appointment and she will get to see the ultrasound and then we will grab breakfast and get in some shopping and then meet Ray and go back for the heartbeat.

Though we had the ultrasound, she measured the heartbeat, but we didn't get to hear it.  So this really will be a first!!!

I am a little worried about wearing myself out this weekend though, because Mom and Ed are go kinda people, which I normally love, but I am a little worried.  Mostly, because I am exhausted by 8:00 and usually require a nap on the weekends.  I also have to eat early, which is not like them, if we eat by 8:00 (my new bedtime) it is a miracle.  Again, I normally love that, but I don't think preggo tummy will appreciate that.

I will update with details from the weekend and the appointments soon!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Pictures from Ultrasound

These are the pictures from our 9 weeks and 6 days ultrasound. 

We had to get an ultrasound, because the day before I started bleeding.  I wasn't spotting, I was truly bleeding adn I thought we had lost the baby.  Ray and I spent the day crying and sleeping.  I had been doing a lot of cleaning that morning adn the doctor thought that was what might have caused the bleeding, but I was so sure the pregnancy was over.

It was sooo scary and heartbreaking.  I only called Sarah, because I just couldn't bear to tell my parents yet.  She was wonderful, but there is only so much you can say in that situation.

The doctor on call said I could go to the ER, but I didn't want to.  I wanted to wait and go to my doctor's office, a place I felt comforatable.  So we waited until the next day and went in for an ultrasound and to get checked by the doctor.

And we got great news!

The baby measured at 10 weeks and 3 days.  The tech said they may change my due date if it is still ahead at the next ultrasound (on March 11th).

The heartbeat was 162!

And the baby was kicking like crazy!

We found out the bleeding was from a hematoma (?).  It ruptured and that was where the blood was coming from.  We now have to monitor the hematoma and ensure that it is getting smaller and not bigger. 

It was a great end to a horrible weekend!!!

And now we get to see the baby again at the heartbeat appointment to check on the size of the hematoma.  As long as it is shrinking we are all good!