Friday, January 28, 2011

Fun Times

I am soo fortunate.  I found out my BFF at my office is due two days after me.  The only reason I told her is because she asked me point blank and I am an awful liar if I am not prepared.

Well, anyways, we haven't told all most anyone and it has been nice to ask her  . . . "Are you burpy?"  "I thought pregnant people were supposed to be hot, I am FREEZING" . . etc etc.

I am really grateful for that.

I am also really grateful that I have felt pretty good the last two weeks.  Until this morning, and then I got a wave of nausea.  I managed to overcome it with Saltines and Diet Ginger Ale, but it did scare me a little.  It scared me in the sense that as I am entering week 6 I am nervous the bad morning sickness will kick in.

I know it will be awful, but only for a few weeks and I wouldn't trade it for anything.  It doesn't mean I still can't hope that I don't get sick.

I am sooo ready for the weekend, we are meeting up with friends tonight for dinner and then doing nothing but hanging out for the rest of the weekend.  Ray is putting up some decor that I ordered online a few weeks ago with our Christmas money.  I thought about going to see a movie, but I would have to pee at least twice during it, so I am giving up on that idea for awhile.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

5 weeks and an award

Thanks Lisa B at Pursuit of Pregnancy for this award!!!  I can't wait to hear how her beta goes on Thursday, cross your fingers for big numbers people!!!!

The rules for accepting this award are:
1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 other bloggers.  I am cheating and doing 5!!!!
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.
7 totally random things about me!
1. I am not super girly, but I LOVE to shop.  Even grocery shop.
2. I am a huge Type A.  I plan my dinners for three weeks and we only go to the grocery store 1 time every three weeks, how's that for efficient?
3. I need it to be super cold when I sleep.
4. The lazy river at the Surf Club in Aruba is my happy place. 
5. I have never broken a bone, but I did get my Appendix removed.
6. I have four brothers and no sisters.
7. Ray and I got married on our five year anniversary, exactly.

15 of my favorite blogs! (In no particular order)
1. My Dusty Uterus  Ann is dealing with the loss of a great friend, go show your support.
2. Still a Guest Room  She just got back an AMAZING beta, congrats!
3. Removing Roadblocks  Check out Katie's blog, she has an awesome story and amazing jewelry she is selling to support her adoption.
4. That Girl with Endo  She hasn't posted lately, but that is because she is saving Australia, one pair of gum boots at a time.
5. Yolk  She is hilarious and has a totally different way of looking at IF!!!!


As for my pregnancy, I hit 5 weeks today!  It is going well.  Trying to stay de-stressed, hydrated and healthy.

I have never peed so much in my life!!!!

Also, maybe this is TMI, but I am not a chesty girl, so my DH is loving the changes so far.  It is amazing how big they get in such a short period of time.

I still check for spotting everytime I go to the bathroom, I wonder when I will stop doing that, after the baby is born?  Probably.

Well it is 9:15, so I am completely exhausted, off to bed!!!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

It is sinking in . . . slowly

I am really excited to say it is finally sinking in.  I am finally letting myself get excited and make plans and have hope for the next nine months.

That isn't to say that I am telling anyone just yet.  I have told my mom, who very quickly screamed and told everyone in her house (unfortunately, I had to call her, since she lives no where near me).  We also told my dad and step mom and brother.  We have swore everyone to secrecy.  I have threatened both of my parents with their lives to not even tell their parents. 

It's not that I am not enjoying and relishing in this pregnancy, but I have cautious optimism and I should get the choice on who and when I want to tell people.  I will have a big fear in the back of my head until my 12 week appointment (and possibly even a little while longer).  I have seen and heard of too many sad stories to be naive about the possible outcomes and I know it would be harder if a ton of people knew.

On to happier things.  Ray is now calling me his baby momma!

In terms of symptoms, I have felt great aside from sore boobs, super sensitive nipples (no one warned me about this one), and lots of gas!!!!  I am praying for no morning sickness, but I will take it happily (and possibly not so happily) if it comes.

As I am thinking about it, there are times I think . . I better start doing things, there is sooo much to do.  And other times, I think I am crazy for starting to research strollers.  When is it normal to start this stuff?  Should I just hang out and rest and be healthy for the first trimester?

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend, and now off to what I am thinking is going to be a really long week!

Friday, January 21, 2011

I have written this post three times now

I am having a hard time writing this post, not because I am not excited, but because I know that as much as we root for each other sometimes hearing people get their BFP is hard.

I am super excited to say that I have finally gotten mine!!!!!!!!

A month ago I was sure our IF journey would result in adoption (and we may still chose to adopt), but it is amazing how one month can change things.

I tested and got a BFN on cd26, so I am not sure why I decided to test again on Wednesday (the day I was supposed to get my period).  My boobs were a little sore (nothing really out of the ordinary) but I had been really gassy and burpy . . .so I POAS and HOLY SHIT it came up positive!  The second line wasn't super dark, but it was clearly there.

Unfortunately, I was SO shocked by this that I didn't have a clever way of telling my husband . . .I just screamed "come in here, I think I am losing my mind".

So when I had no idea what to do next . .  . I had spent 19 months trying to get pregnant, I had completely blanked on what to do once you thought you were.

So I called my friend and asked her.  I then sent Ray out to the store to get the good, non Internet bought EPT that clearly says pregnant or not pregnant.  I peed on one when he got back and "Pregnant".  I did it again the next morning, same answer.  It didn't matter that I had three positives, I still didn't believe it.  So I went to get the blood test that afternoon and I got the call today.  Pregnant!!!!!

Don't get me wrong I am SOOOO happy, but I feel like I am in shock.  I have spent so much time trying not to let myself get hurt that I am struggling with celebrating this.

It is slowly sinking in and I loved it when Ray called me his baby's momma last night.

Also I cried when he said good night to me and then good night to poppyseed (since that is the size of the baby).

I am so thrilled, but just a little unsure and anxious.  And I still obsessively check for blood every time I go to the bathroom (which is a lot recently).

I can't wait to post on what happens throughout this pregnancy!  I will still be following each of you and rooting for each of you, but I understand if you need to stop following this blog or don't comment anymore.

Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

A Slight Breakdown

So I know that my title is a bit of an oxy-moron, however it is true.

Last week I was really sick, really tired (from being really sick), really busy (so I couldn't take a day off to rest up), and PMSing.  Sounds like a good combo, right?

Well it was.  And all of those things contributed to my minor breakdown. 

Oddly, IF played no role.  I tested at dpo10, which I never do that early, but I wanted to be sure so I didn't feel so guilty about drugging myself up.  So with an insanely dark control line, I went on my merry way consuming every decongestant I could get my hands on.  The BFN actually was a bit of a relief at the time (again no guilt about the drugs) and no worries about that for the rest of the week.

Back to the breakdown.  I was REALLY frustrated about a new person we hired.  I shouldn't get into it, but I just felt undervalued and felt that way for the other employees as well. 

I know it is stupid, but I don't cry when I am sad or my feelings are hurt (only when I hear sappy songs or that damn Foldgers commercial gets me going), but I cry when I am angry.  And then I get more angry that I am crying.  So that is about how Friday ended.  I did manage to drop a vacation request for "a mental health day" on Monday on my bosses' desk before I left though.

I took the weekend to cool down and try to get some perspective. 

I can gladly say that I start this four day work week with a much more clear head (literally and metaphorically speaking)  thanks to the mental health day and the Netti Pot!!!

I hope everyone has a great week.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Wow, it has been a LONG week

Sorry it has been so long since I posted!  I have been sick since Saturday and work has been really busy!  I am also sorry for not commenting as much, the last four nights I have come home at 7:30, made dinner, ate, and then drowned myself in NyQuil

I did get some major things accomplished this week though!
1. Picked a new GP, and set up physicals for DH and I
2. Set up my annual (isn't it funny how that doesn't phase me anymore, now that I have had all kinds of people and things up there???? TMI, sorry)
3. I set up our 1st appt with an RE!~!!!!!!!!!

I am really excited about going to the RE.  So far we have been at this for 18 months and no answers.  I am looking forward to showing him my charts and seeing if he can find issues that maybe my OBGYN missed???

I am also excited because I have learned to tell the receptionist/nurses not to file an insurance claim, because neither of our insurance's will pay anything.  However this one said that the initial visit they don't file it as IF, so it will be my specialist copay . . . . .$20!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our appt is on 2.9.11.  I have consulted Dr. Google after receiving copies of my file and nothing is standing out.  The only thing that they comment on as a little abnormal is how thick my lining is.  Ironically, when I used to get ultrasounds (I had a cyst burst 5 years ago) they would make me take a pregnancy test, because it was so thick.

So if anyone knows about any issues that arise from having a thick lining, please let me know!!!

On a side note, I want to wish lots of luck and baby dust to the following wonderful ladies . . . Lisa B, Krista,  and Still a Guest Room.

I also want to congratulate Katie on her and her hubby on their decision to adopt!!!  I think sometimes I don't remember to celebrate and wish luck to those on the adoption journey because the dates and steps aren't as predictable as those during an IUI or IVF.  So yay for you Katie!

Lastly, I am excited for me.  I am 48 minutes away from starting a three day weekend with DH!!!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Confession Saturday

Today I am posting random confessions.  I saw it on another blog and love the idea.

I confess I am usually in my pajamas with 15 minutes of getting home from work.

I confess, I still bite my nails.

I confess that when I was watching the follow up show to 16 and Pregnant and that girl was testing to see if she was pregnant again, I all most didn't watch, because I was worried I might cry over it.

I confess that after a lot of BD during ovulation I don't want to have sex again for at least another few days.

I confess that sometimes I make up reasons to buy cookie dough (like making cookies for other people) and then eat the raw cookie dough myself.

And I confess that I LOVE The Secret Life of the American Teenager (truly it is so bad that it is good)!!

Have a great weekend ladies and good luck to For We Are Bound By Symmetry, as she is had her IUI yesterday!!!!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

This and That

This week has been crazy, getting back to work and wrapping up the holidays!

I am kind of glad it is over.  Being the Type A person that I am I like routine and normalcy.

I have been doing well on eating better (not great, since I don't like vegetables).  But on the active front, the only really active thing I have made time for is BD. 

This month might be a throwaway, because I didn't get a chance to OPK and BD like we normally do, due to my parents being here.  We have this great new bed, but for some reason it makes a TON of noise and I just don't feel comfortable with the noise with my parents across the hall. . . . should I just grow up? 

Anyways, nothing new and exciting to report, but thought I would check in!

For those of you in the midst of IUI and IVF this month (and there are alot of you), I am thinking of you!!!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Welcome 2011

We had a wonderful NYE with my parents!  We went to a great restaurant and came home, put on PJs, watched Andy Cohen, and played drinking games.  I didn't really have the opportunity to talk to DH about saying good bye to 2010 until this morning.

We just spent a few quiet moments talking the good and bad from last year.    I asked him what his resolutions were and he said he doesn't have any, but that he does hope 2011 brings a baby K.

After my parents leave, we will need to sit down and figure some things out.

Other than that it has been a great weekend and I am sooo happy we have tomorrow off too!

Last thing, have any of you heard of mercury fillings impacting IF?  My mom brought it up to me after talking to one of her friends whose daughter also had unexplained IF.  I had never heard of it, but read this article and it kind of makes sense.  If anyone knows any more about this, I would love to know if it is crazy or not!!!

Happy New Year and I am happy to say I feel a renewed hope and have a positive outlook on all this for the first time in a while!!!!!