Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Well there goes my Christmas Miracle

So AF arrived yesterday morning.  I was really hoping that this was my month.

I had a hard time last night, I cried at the new Foldgers commercial where the brother comes home from Africa or where ever. 

Then I decided to snap out of it.  Today was my last day at work until Monday, and then I am taking next Wednesday through the following Monday off because my Mom is coming to visit!

I decided to snap out of it because Christmas is my favorite holiday . . . .and I have let IF impact too much in my life all ready. 

2011 is a new year with new hope and new chances.  I read one of my favorite blogs by Faith and one of her more recent posts is about how Christmas 2009 she was grieving her recent miscarriage and this year she has a beautiful baby boy through adoption and a little girl on the way.

I am not saying I expect two babies next year, but it does go to show how much can change in a year!!!

Also, I want to make a quick comment on the newest 16 and Pregnant.  The one where the girl makes an adoption plan, follows through (but only for a few days), then decides to parent (but only for a few weeks).  Then she goes back to her original plan.  Oddly, I am very grateful that MTV showed this side of adoption. 

I have never been a part of an adoption, but this one seemed to show a pretty accurate picture.  Mostly in the sense of how difficult it is for the birth mother.  I also liked this one, because the birth mother was given guidance, but I still felt like she was given the choice.

Anyways, thought I would update everyone on my 18th straight BFN.

Merry Christmas!


  1. Happy ICLW from #24! Sorry about AF and just in time to disrupt the holidays. :-( Looking forward to following your journey. Hopefully 2011 is the year! :-)

  2. I totally cry at that commercial too, then I sit there and feel so stupid. I'm glad I'm not the only one. Sorry about AF being in town. I'll be praying for peace for you and the hubs. Maybe you'll get a gift from Heaven in 2011!

  3. So sorry about the bfn. Hope you have a wonderful holiday anyway!

  4. Sorry AF came. It especially sucks right before Xmas.

  5. Sorry about AF Kalyn :(. I have totally cried at that same commercial too, lol. Also, a large number of contemporary christmas songs make me cry. Then I get mad because its Christmas and I'm supposed to be happy. Oh well, I guess we all have our moments. Merry Christmas!

  6. So sorry, hun! Yuck, i hate it when the b*&$h arrives, esp in time for Christmas. I am so glad my post brought hope to you - I was really hoping it would do that for all those special mommies in waiting out there:). Your time IS coming! Have fun with your mommy when she gets there:)!

  7. I'm sorry about AF :-( I am looking forward to the new year though! I bet you'll have that BFP in no time!

  8. I'm so very sorry about AF... this sucks, especially right before Christmas. Hugs to you, my dear!

  9. Merry ICLW!! from #122!
    So sorry about af right before Christmas!! Grrr I hate this for everyone who is going through it!!! :( Im glad you wrote about how drastically things can change in a year! That really helps me feel hope about the future possibilities! Christmas is too my fav Holiday, Im down right obsessed. lol
    I dont want to be sad anymore! Not for the holidays anyways :)

  10. Gosh, I am sorry! Boy do I get it lady! I got my 18th BFN (not counting when I used to test more than once) last cycle. I have a bad feeling I am onto the 19th...
    I hope we can both get through these holidays in tact and with new focus. We'll help each other!

  11. Thanks Kayln for stopping by my blog! I love following the breadcrumbs back to new and awesome writers like you!

    So many things can chance in a year. I hope that your journey 2011 continues to bring you closer to your goal of a family. My DH and I started trying in Jan 2008 and it was a great year for us. Then in 2009, we got our azoos diagnosis, my DH lost his job and our dog died unexpectedly, all in a matter of 6 months. 2009 was the worst year of my life, but we survived it. I seriously counted the hours until that year was over. 2010 has been uneventful for the most part. It revolved almost completely around us getting pregnant, but we were able to make a lot of decisions and find peace with those choices. I do have high hopes that 2011 will finally give us reason to celebrate, and to reclaim our lives!

    I also watched the 16 and pregnant show with Ashley. I was moved so incredibly by Caitlyn and Tyler last season, and Ashley's story was another incredible look 'inside' the adoption story. I feel such gratitude to these young parents for opening my eyes to the other side of adoption. I also found Ashley's blog and read the whole thing (a little obsessive maybe, but I really wanted to understand her story.)

    Wow, this comment got long!!! Wishing you a beautiful 2011, my friend.
    xoxo - Foxy