Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I hate bills, especially IF ones

Tonight was a rough one for me.  The last few weeks I have been getting bills randomly in the mail pertaining to our IF testing.  I guess that is the bad part about knocking some much out in a month. 

I did a lot of research about the HSG before I went and did it and found out, even if my insurance didn't cover it it would cost $638.  Not good, but something I decided I could handle.  Well I guess I did not plan for all of the other insanity they tack on to the bills.  The total came out to $1494!!!!  Are you kidding me?  I just starting crying immediately. 

I am not a cry er, this is not my typical reaction to anything (except as I am learning, IF).  I think part of it is because I can't control it or plan it, no matter how hard I try, but it is also because it seems so unfair.

There are so many people I know who have great insurance and can have a baby for less than this "surgery" is going to cost me.

Ray and I don't make a ton of money, and we work really hard to save it.  We live below our means so that we can save and prepare for the future.  However, we have spent just under $2400 since this began in late September.

I don't know if I can handle this.  I try to stay positive and maintain a good outlook.   I spend my time educating myself, rather than worrying or complaining (ok, so I do complain a little).  But my biggest concern is that this will damage my marriage. 

I can literally feel myself withdraw a little more every time we have a back-fire or get bad news or get a bill.  I can't handle my marriage suffering over this.  Ray is trying, but I think he struggles to understand this new version of me.  We have been together for just under 9 years, so he knows the normal me, but not the IF affected version of me.  I am going to have to make a point of not letting this impact us.

Has anyone else struggled with dealing with this, but not letting it affect your relationships?

6 comments:

  1. I think there definitely was a time in testing where we were struggling a bit. I think most of the problem was I was so affected by it and at that point Alex wasn't at all. It took us an additional year to move forward after testing and by that point we had been ttc 2 full years and I was basically melting down every day. I think trying different treatments has brought us back together though because he HAS to be actively involved in them. I think for once he is beginning to experience what I have all along. So maybe this will turn around for you guys as soon as you can start moving forward.
    As far as the HSG, we were initially told it would be covered, and actually they did cover the first half of the bill (and by covered I mean we paid it but we got to pay the discounted insurance amount and it went towards our deductible). Then the second bill we got they covered nothing and when I called the insurance they said the first bill was only covered in error. I called the hospital and lab though, and they knocked down the price a bunch for me. They gave me the choice to pay about half as much in as many payments as I needed, as long as it was a set amount OR I could pay it all at once for about 1/3 of the total amount. I took the payments but it still saved us a ton of money. I would call and talk to them and surely they can give you a break. GL!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Katie, you are wonderful! Thanks for the advice! I got a 30% dicsount for insurance covering nothing and 10% more for paying wtihin 10 days!!!! I saved $553.
    Also, thanks for the insight on it improving when DH becomes more involved in this process.
    Thanks again, I really needed something positive today!

    ReplyDelete
  3. No problem Kalyn! I'm glad you were able to work something out so you didn't have to pay that full amount. I know it can be so hard to "deal" with these things. I often find myself both frozen and overcome with emotion at the same time. Hang in there hun, and just keep pushing through!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks for your comment on my blog!
    During our fertility treatments, I was a freak. ha! I'm not normally so crazy, but between the drugs and the stress I was all over the place. My husband and I have a great marriage and I didn't want that to change during all of the testing and treatments either. I think what helped us is that we talked about everything. When I would act crazy and cry like a nutcase, he would just sit with me and listen. I told him I didn't want him to have all the answers because I knew he didn't...I just wanted him to be there for me...and he was.

    Our insurance didn't cover anything for us either. It's stressful enough already without worrying about money. It sucks that some people don't worry about any of that because their insurance pays for everything. Well, it's great for them, but sucks for us! We knew going into it all how far we would go and how much we could afford to put into it before we moved on to adoption. Because of my age, we knew the percentages for IVF working weren't that high and just couldn't justify spending that much money for a small chance. We wanted a child and it didn't matter how that child came to us. For some, it does matter...and that's ok too.

    The best advice I can give you is just make time for your marriage and don't let infertility take over your life. :)
    Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks Jennifer, I appreciate your insight! I am praying for you and your adoption!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I agree with the other ladies. Have you DH come with you to special appointements and encourage him to be involved. My DH went to my HSG and IUI and I think it's helped keep us close.
    I sure know what you mean about costs though. My insurance helps with the ultrasounds, but that's it. It's been tough, but it will be worth it in the end. I hope.

    http://missconception-ads.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete